To live in community is to live with – at least – the potential for conflict. I have acted wrongly on too many occasions; I have wronged others; and I have been wronged by others. 

I find few things more emotionally taxing than living in conflict. But God calls us to live in community, where conflict will almost surely take place from time to time. I suspect this is because living in community is one of God’s chief tools for sanctifiying us.  But for God’s sanctifying process to have effect we must understand the principles for living in peace and for restoring peace.

The following “rules” are from a post by Ray Ortland, of Immanuel Church in Nashville:

1. We can rejoice in one another, because the Lord rejoices in us.
2. We can create an environment of trust rather than negative scrutiny.
3. We can judge ourselves, even as we give each other the benefit of the doubt.
4. If a problem must be addressed, we can talk to, not about.  Gossip destroys.
5. If a problem must be addressed, we can avoid blanket statements but identify factual specifics, offer a positive path forward and preserve everyone’s dignity.
6. We can always extend kindness.
7. When we do wrong one another, we can say to the person harmed, “I was wrong.  I am sorry.  It won’t happen again.  Is there anything I could do now that might make a positive difference?”

To read Ray Ortand’s rationale and explanations for each Rule click: Guard & Repair