Ministry
The Secret Love Life of the Passionate Pastor
In this wonderfully encouraging and clarifying article Michael Milton describes the perils and joys of pastoral ministry. Most succinctly Mike explores the three loves above all others that the true Christ-like pastor must have:
- Love for God
- Love for God’s Word
- Love for God’s People
Amazingly, no mention is made about the 3 B’s most contemporary pastors are pressured by – buildings, budgets, or butts in pews. These are constant pressures for pastors, whether these pressures come from others or the pressure is self imposed. No doubt there is a place for these 3 B’s, but they cannot be the “first loves”, the primary objects of our affection.
And while Mike’s piece is a wonderful reminder for we who labor as physicians of the soul, the benefit of these truths are not limited to the “professionals”. Mike describes what should be valued in your pastor, and characteristics that can be shared by others who long to be Christ-like servants.
To read Mike’s article, click: The Secret Love Life of the Passionate Pastor
The Great Physician’s Assistants
The question still resounds in my mind; and resonates in my heart. An wise old pastor approached the table where I was lunching with my father-in-law and my pastor on the day I was to be examined for ordination. He sat easily in an open chair with a friendly grin and forewarned me that he was going to ask a couple questions of me later that day during my examination. Among the questions he was planning to ask was this: “Do you see yourself, as a pastor, more like a policeman or a physician?”
That is a stunningly simple question with profoundly different implications, depending upon how one answers.
The one who views himself as more the policeman is constantly on the lookout for violations of the law and/or of the peace. Once transgressions are witnessed – or sometimes even merely speculated – the policeman-pastor jumps into action, levying warnings and pressing charges. The motive is easily understood. God is holy and will not tolerate sin. God calls for his people to “be Holy even as God is Holy”. And someone has to keep order and direct traffic. And if not the pastor (and Elders) who else will do this necessary thankless task?
The one who views himself more like the physician, on the other hand, also keeps an eye out for evidence of violations. But rather than assuming any ability to sheriff the church (much less the world) the physician-pastor is motivated by compassion. The physician pastor knows sin abounds in all of us and that it is a condition that kills. he understands that this condition is so pervasive that even if he could squelch all or most of the active expressions of sin that it would still do only cosmetic good. People would look better, and the world would certainly seem a better place to live, but the condition that is rooted in the heart would still wreak it’s devastating effect upon humanity. He realizes that in many ways the cleaned up life may be more dangerous than the life left exposed. At least when there is evidence of sin people are concerned. But in an artificially sanitized society – or church – people assume all is clear; everything is OK. Few if any are willing to listen to the warning bells that informed physicians sound. The hope of the physician is that people aware of their condition, and it’s terminal nature, will seek out the remedy; the remedy he is commissioned to prescribe frequently and widely – the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
The physician-pastor understands that this prescription has multiple effects. And he reminds his patients that this remedy works from the inside out. The first effect is that when initially ingested by faith that the terminal threat is immediately voided. No longer will the effects of sin lead to death, physically or spiritually. One dose is all it takes. But he also realizes that the condition of sin, while no longer lethal, has already caused much damage to the individual – some known, much unseen. Left unchecked the lingering effects of sin will continue to cause tremendous damage to infected individuals, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. So even while the initial dose effectively terminated the terminal effect of sin, everyone who has been exposed is prescribed to regularly take ongoing dosages to combat and reverse the effects of sin that remaining cancerous traces.
When People Go
Let’s face it, it is one of the bummers of being in ministry – or for that matter, of being a part of a church. While death and taxes may be among life’s inevitables, sadly, if you are part of a church, so is periodically watching people go out the doors.
With the Wal-Martization of the American church the contemporary mindset seems to be: “What’s the big deal?” Which makes sense. I’d be a bit perturbed if I got attitude from the manager and/or employees of Wal-Mart simply because they learned I had recently been frequenting Target. So what if someone decides to “shop” at First Church of What’s Happenin’ Now instead of the congregation in which they had taken vows to “support the work and the worship to the best of their ability”?
I get it. I just don’t agree. The church is not supposed to be like a Wal-Mart. It is supposed to be a Covenant Family. But not all church members see it that way; not all churches either, for that matter. So there is not much those left behind can do about it. Despite the revolving doors local congregations just need to press on.
But what if an opportunity presented itself to say something to one of God’s wayward wanderers? What would you say? What should you say?
In a recent article for 9 Marks blog by Jonathan Leeman muses:
Let’s face it: there are better and worse reasons to leave a church. Are you moving to another city? That’s a good reason. Are you harboring bitterness toward someone who has offended you? That’s a bad reason. Does the church neglect to preach biblical sermons weekly? A good reason. Do you not like the church’s style? Probably a bad reason.
The question is, how should you respond to a fellow member who is leaving for what sounds like a bad reason?
I really appreciated Leeman’s, thoughtful, Biblcial, practical, suggestions. To read the rest of Leeman’s post, click: What to Say to Church Members Leave for Bad Reasons.
10 Signs of Approaching Meltdown
Perry Noble reveals and responds to a stunning statistic:
My counselor shared a statistic with me two years ago that floored me – 90% of the people entering ministry do not retire from ministry. They either quit or have some sort of moral/ethical failure that disqualifies them.
Jesus did not call us to this or wants this for our lives. Yet so many of us church leaders struggle in this area (usually inwardly because if we said out loud that we are dying inside, people might perceive us as weak).
While I am stunned by these stats, I am not surprised. I’ve seen too many friends flee the frenzy of ministry. And I myself have peeked over the edge on a few occasions, only to be pulled back onto solid ground by good friends and gracious church members. But I concur with Noble: This is not what Jesus wants for those in ministry – whether pastors or church leaders, or volunteers in other areas of the Church.
One reason we know this is not what Jesus wants is because Peter tells us as much:
Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them — not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be… ~ 1 Peter 5.2
But the interesting thing about this verse is that Peter tells us both that God wants leading the church to be enjoyable and that it is going to be emotionally taxing. On the one hand, lead and shepherd because the joy set before us makes you want to do it. On the other hand, by acknowledging that ministry will sometimes seem like a chore, a duty, a mere responsibility, Peter implies that there will likely be times when something will rob the leader of the delight.
In his post Noble lists 10 Signs you are on the verge of a meltdown or burnout:
- You are beginning to despise people and your compassion for them is continually decreasing rather than increasing.
- You often think about doing something other than ministry and your biggest desire isn’t to honor God and reach people, but to simply find relief from the pressure that seems to be building daily inside you.
- You cannot remember the last time you simply had fun with family and friends, and joy is something you talk about but are not experiencing for yourself.
- You are disconnected at home and when you get there, you do not want to engage with your spouse or your children; you cannot enjoy being around them. You spend more time online than you do with your family and you find yourself wanting to sleep all of the time.
- You continually tell yourself and those you love that “this is just a really busy season and that you will slow down soon.” However, the truth is that you have been most likely “singing that same song” for years!
- You are continually becoming obsessed with what others say about you and one negative comment from someone who does not like you can put you in an incredibly deep valley and cause you to feel hopeless.
- You begin to make easy decisions rather than the right ones, because the right ones take too much work.
- There is no hope in you and you actually despair of life. You have thought of death and have even entertained suicidal thoughts.
- You are experiencing unexplained depression and/or anxiety. You are having panic attacks and can’t explain it.
- You are increasingly becoming withdrawn from family and friends.
While I cannot say that I have experienced all of the above symptoms, I am familiar with most. Apparently so is Noble. He says he drafted this list from his own life. (See: Meltdown)
Youth Group Trends
6 Foundation Points for the Church
According to Dann Spader and Gary Mayes there are six foundational aspects of ministry crucial to cultivate an environment for (healthy) church growth. While the culture has changed quite a bit in the twenty years since Spader & Mayes published their thoughts, their points are still valid.
1. Create an atmosphere of love
Jesus’ insight, “By this will all men know that [we] love one another,” (John 13:35) has never been more true.
2. Build a relational ministry
Building relationships with people was an intentional, aggressive agenda for Christ. “He spent time with his disciples” (John 3:22). He lived by the principle that people respond when we reach out to them.
3. Communicate Christ clearly
In a world that knows only caricatures of Christ, people need to know him as he really is. We must present him and his message of life and grace as he gave it, so that people might build a real relationship with the living Savior.
4. Build a healthy ministry image
What kind of vision do the people in your ministry have for the work to which God has called them? How confident are they in his ability to accomplish the task he has entrusted to them? Cohesiveness, commitment to the cause, receptivity to change, and teachability are all related to a healthy group image.
5. Mobilize a prayer base
Our task is to effect spiritual life change. This kind of spiritual work is not accomplished by human means. As we move into the arena of prayer, God moves into the arena of our lives.
6. Communicate the Word
Research has shown that even our most regular church-goers have some biblical illiteracy. We continually need to evaluate our teaching to insure God’s Word is being taught accurately
Again, while I believe all these points are valid they are not equally important. Nor is this list sufficient.
I think I would appreciate them more if they were reordered. In particular #4 may be a practical truth but I would put it last. In fact, I suspect #4 would be best described as a consequence of faithfully and effectively doing the other five. To list it higher, even as high as the authors do, suggests that marketing and branding is more important to the health and success of the church than prayer and biblical literacy among the church members. But then one must remember that when these authors wrote this book Marketing the Church was the “new” rage, so the these guys are in places merely reflecting their times.
That said, I suspect the absence of #4 in a congregation may serve as a caution flag. If #4, as it is described above, is absent it may be like a warning light on a dashboard that tells us to “Check Engine”. Something is amiss: One or more of the other points are not functioning properly in a particular body.
These insights were originally published in in the book Growing a Healthy Church.
4 Ingredients for an Assimilation Recipe
It has been said:
When people visit a church they are not so much looking for friendly people as they are looking for new friends. If all they wanted was friendliness they could go to almost any store in the mall and find it.
I have always sensed that there is much truth in this statement. But understanding this is one thing, knowing how to practically flesh it out is quite another. It is a question of assimilation: How do we connect new folks with others in our church, and to the church itself, to a degree that these newcomers feel they can make it their home?
There are at least four ingredients that should be integrated and implemented:
1. Awareness of the Stranger in our midst
Sometimes churches are so in-grown that the people do not even seem to be aware of newcomers. They warmly greet one another, and chat with long-time friends to catch up on the week and to get the follow-up details from previous conversations. And this may be a genuine expression of caring people. But when the focus is so zeroed-in on the old friends, the antenna sometimes fails to pick up the presence of the newcomer.
How should we resolve this? It’s simple. Mike it a priority to look for unfamiliar faces first.
2. Greeting Strangers
It should go without having to be said, but it does little to no good to be aware of newcomers if we do not act on that awareness. But it is something that does have to be said. As I have seen, many times church members may scan the room for “outsiders” yet make no effort to greet them – much less welcome and befriend them. So ingredient two is simple: Greet the Stranger. Make the effort. Go talk to them. In fact, it might be a good idea to implement the 2-Minute rule in many of our congregations.
What is the 2-Minute Rule? The 2-Minute Rule is simply this: after the service, or during a greeting time if one is offered during the service, church members are not to talk to their friends for the first two minutes, unless no guests are present. Find the visitors. And if they are in a crowd talking to other church members, find someone you do not ordinarily talk to and talk to them. Some may need to extend this to a 5-Minute Rule, especially in larger, newer, or growing churches.
3. Ask Questions to Connect
Simply saying “Hello” and/or “Welcome” is certainly better than ignoring the stranger, but it does not lead to developing relationships. It is not an adequate expression of the hospitality we, as Christians, are expected to practice. We need to go further. We need to begin to connect. It is only through personal connection that newcomers will begin to feel at home.
One question to avoid would be: “What are you doing here?” (Though, I suspect this probably is the question most frequently conveyed, whether spoken or not, in most in-grown churches.)
But what questions should we ask? Well, there are many that could be appropriate. Perhaps some suggested questions can be the topic of another post. In the mean time, just ask any of the women who were in a college sorority.
4. Connect People to Other People
There is a general rule of assimilation that people need to make a minimum of five personal connections in a church to feel at home. (This is especially true for women. And 80% of the time it is the wife who will make the final determination about what church a family will ultimately attend.) So while it is great to connect through questions, it is equally important to introduce newcomers to other people.
Introduce people to those you know best. Introduce them to people you know who have similar interests, or are in a similar life stage, or live in the same neighborhood as the the strangers. Introduce them to other newcomers. Just realize that the more introductions the more opportunities to make those connections necessary to make one feel at home.
These ingredients in no way exhaust the components of an assimilation plan, but they are a simple and significant starting point.
5 Marks of Revived Churches
Ray Ortland proposes there are five constants in all historic instances of biblical revival.
- Awareness of God’s presence
- Responsiveness to God’s Word
- Sensitiveness to sin
- Liveliness in community
- Fruitfulness in testimony
These are important features.
To read Ortlands elaboration click: Revived
Drilling Down
I have greatly benefited from being introduced to Tri-Perspectivalism. While it is an odd sounding word, as a concept Tri-Perpectivalism is reasonably easy to grasp. It is a multi-facted perspective, or looking at things from three distinct perspectives, rooted in the personality and offices of Christ: Prophet, Priest, and King.
John Frame was probably the first to touch upon this leadership-personality grid. Dick Kaufmann contributed significant practical insights and applications. And David Fairchild has taken the whole thing a step further.
Speaking at a conference in Fall 2010, Fairchild explained that there are different types of prophets, priest, and kings. While each individual has a primary wiring (i.e. Prophet, or Priest, or King) each also has a secondary, or modifying, perspective. Fairchild suggested:
In fact, the secondary perspective is sort of like their delivery method. In other words, you might be a priest and enjoy counseling, but your secondary is king. So you enjoy working with people that need pastoral care by applying wisdom to their particular situation like finances or work related counsel. This is effortless and easy for a kingly priest, but not so for a priestly priest.
Let’s explore some breakdowns:
Mistakes
Steve Childers is Founder and President of Global Church Advancement. He is also professor of Practical Theology at Reformed Theological Seminary-Orlando. In a former life Steve was an effective pastor and church planter. A number of years ago I had the privilege of taking a doctoral class in church planting under Steve’s tutelage. I have appreciated him ever since.
Now Steve has done us the favor of, not only sharing his great insights about ministry and church planting but, chronicling his biggest ministry mistakes. These mistakes are obviously beneficial for fellow pastors to aviod. But I think that these short, insightful confessions can also profit others in church leadership, be it those holding official office or those with unofficial influence. In fact, some of Steve’s insights translate to the values we hold that shape our lives and congregations.
In no particular order:
- Failure to Understand the Importance of How I Define Ministry Success
- Managing My Time and NOT Managing My Life
- Not Understanding the Difference Between My Goals and My Desires
- Not Understanding the Difference Between Pursuing the Grace of God and the God of Grace
- Failure to Understand the Way Up is the Way Down
- Failure to Understand the Priority of People Over Programs
- Not Understanding Product Living vs. Process Living
- Failure to Initiate Supportive Relationships
5 Reasons Church Leaders Quit
Why do so many church leaders quit or go into early permanent retirement? This is epidemic these days. According to Pastor in Residence, a ministry aimed at restoring ministry casualties back to active duty, at any given time as many as 33% of American pastors consider throwing in the towel. And this is not a problem isolated among the “professionals”. Some of the same stressors also plague non-staff church leaders.
Perry Noble offers some wise insight aimed at my ministerial colleagues – and me. These are things we need to be reminded regularly. I know I do.
#1 – Burnout
I once heard someone say, “I would rather burn out than rust out.” Uh…BOTH are bad because NEITHER of them finish well. Too many people in the ministry work themselves into a frenzy, never take time to disconnect and refresh, and do absolutely nothing for fun–this always ends badly!
When it comes to leadership circles in America, we’ve equated being busy with being godly; however, the haunting reality that confronts that idea is what God Himself said in Psalm 46:10, “BE STILL and know that I am God,” not “be busy!”
If we are not taking regular breaks, doing things “just for fun,” and disconnecting, then burnout isn’t a matter of “if,” but “when!”
#2 – Unrealistic Expectations
Too many people believe that “ministry = easy” despite the fact that it seemed to go really badly for everyone in the Scriptures that sold their lives out to Him! Jesus went to the “place of the skull” to be crucified…why would we ever believe He would lead us to “the place of the mattress?”
When we impose our plans and ideas on God and refuse to surrender to His, it usually leads to people “giving up” because “God just didn’t come through.”
#3 – Criticism
Criticism hurts, it always will, and if it ever doesn’t, then, according to my counselor, something is dead inside of you. And it is always personal (especially when someone begins with, “Don’t take this personally, but…).
You can’t let the critics dictate what you think/feel! If you have a ministry that constantly responds to critics, then you will not have one that responds to Jesus. You MUST respond to the people who God has placed in your life to surround you and protect you–that’s not criticism but rather correction. However, you cannot allow those who know you the least to control you the most–period!
#4 – Discouragement
Every church leader I’ve ever chatted with has done some serious battles with discouragement. After your message on Sunday, the enemy comes in and begins to accuse you, telling you that you did a pathetic job and that no one is going to come back next week. I’ve had to battle discouragement during the message before, hearing voices inside of my head saying things like, “You stink, these people hate you…you need to quit the ministry…” and so on.
This is why it is essential for leaders to get in a place like David did in I Samuel 30:1-6. David faced an incredibly discouraging situation and yet somehow managed to find His strength in the Lord. I do this by reading through encouraging letters and e-mails that I’ve received in the past, placing myself in encouraging environments, and focusing on what God’s Word says about me.
#5 – Losing Focus on God’s Power
When we actually believe it is up to us to make people come back to church every week rather than believing we are conduits that God wants to work through to do that very thing…it’s over! Because we fall into the trap of trying to outdo ourselves every week, every series and every year and prayer/seeking the Lord become some things we love to talk about but fail to do. He saves…He draws people…and He uses us to do it. It’s not up to us but rather we need to allow Him to work through us to accomplish all that He wants to do!
Face it; on our own, we don’t have enough power to blow our noses. We need Him. He is the game changer!
~ Perry Noble is pastor of New Spring Church in Anderson, South Carolina
Shallow Small Groups
OK… This might make some folks cringe a little – especially some Small Group junkies… But this is just too funny!
Out-stretching the Outreach Dilemma
I have been spending some time thinking about how to revamp and ignite the outreach ministry of our church. One of the frequent dilemmas for a church that desires to become more externally focused, more missional, is the balancing of service and PR. There is nothing inherently wrong with advertising, but sometimes a sincere outreach can be perceived as a mere marketing strategy. When this happens it sends a distorted message to both those outside the church and those who go out from the church.
John Stott, in his book Christian Mission in the Modern World, offers the following insights about this dilemma:
To sum up, we are sent to the world, like Jesus, to serve. For this is the natural expression of our love for our neighbors. We love. We go. We serve. And in this we have (or we should have) no ulterior motive. True, the gospel lacks visibility if we merely preach it, and lacks credibility if we who preach it are interested only in souls and have no concern about the welfare of people’s bodies, situations and communities. Yet the reason for our acceptance of social responsibility is not primarily in order to give the gospel either a visibility or a credibility it would otherwise lack, but rather simple uncomplicated compassion. Love has no need to justify itself. It merely expresses itself in service wherever it sees need.
Being a Transforming Presence
As followers of Jesus it is as imperative for us to fight every inclination toward dualism as it is to fight against legalism. While legalism is widely recognized as relating wrongly to the Law, the error of dualism is not as widely acknowledged in our Evangelical circles.
Simply put, dualism is like split vision, seeing things only as either spiritual or secular. All things are spiritual.
Walt Mueller reminds us that there are two kinds of dualism common in the church:
- Escape – When personal salvation is viewed as an escape from the world into the church, and that the world around us is then to be avoided.
- Segregated Spheres – Believing God is only concerned about the spiritual dimension of our lives, we dedicate our spiritual lives to the Lord, but then are shaped by the world in our professional and social lives.
Jacques Ellul offers this critique:
This dissociation of our life into two spheres: the one “spiritual” where we can be “perfect”; and the other material and unimportant, where we behave like other people; is one of the reasons why the Churches have so little influence on the world… All we can say is: That is the exact opposite of what Jesus Christ wills for us, and of that which he came to do.
Here are three teachings of Jesus that should remind us that God intends for his people to engage the culture around us. We are not to avoid it. We are to attack it stealthily.
Matthew 5.13 – Salt of the Earth
Matthew 5.14 – Light of the World
Matthew 10.16 – Sheep among Wolves
GRACE & PEACE 