List

Who Do You Listen To?

/ Dennis Griffith / 1 Comment

I am blessed to have some great friends. While I always enjoy making new friends, there is nothing like an old friend. Someone who has known you long, and known you well. These are the friends who can see right through the veneer we sometimes try to hide beneath. And because they can see through it they won’t let you hide.  These are the ones who ask penetrating questions. I have to come clean because they will know if I am skirting the issue by giving some vague reply.  These are the folks I go to for counsel. These are the folks I always listen to.

In a post not long ago, Perry Noble asked the question: Who Should You Listen To?  He then proceeds to make a list of 8 qualifications.

If you are in leadership (and especially if you are in church leadership) then you have probably discovered the reality that God loves you…and everyone else has an incredible plan for your life!

One of the struggles that we all MUST wrestle with is who to listen to when it comes to making decisions.  The Bible tells us that we unwise to be Lone Rangers (Proverbs 15:22) and the Bible has several stories of people who made bad decisions because they listened to the wrong people (see I Kings 12:1-16.)

However, it is IMPOSSIBLE to listen to everyone. With the barrage of information and opinions coming our way via Facebook, email, twitter and other media, anyone who tries to focus on the opinions of everyone will simply lose his mind, and most likely any leadership effectiveness, if his obsession becomes making everyone happy.

So, who do we listen to?  Who is it that should ALWAYS have access to us…and we should ALWAYS desire their thoughts and insights? Here is Perry Noble’s list:

#1 – Those who know me, who have spent time with me and understand that there is a person behind the personality.

#2 – Those who have seen me at my best and worst…and love me anyway.

#3 – Those who do not automatically assume the worse about me and always give me the benefit of the doubt.  (ALWAYS beware of the person who seeks to pounce on you as soon as they hear something bad!)

#4 – Those who are willing to stand with me in a tough time–THOSE WHO BLEED WITH ME CAN LEAD WITH ME!!!

#5 – Those who offer correction for the purpose of building up rather than tearing down (people who always seek to tear you down should be ignored!  If they do not correct/confront in love then they are nothing more than a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal – see I Corinthians 13:1)

#6 – Those who are willing to take a confrontation straight to the person rather to an online audience.

#7 – Those who are not always looking for a reason to attack/hate you.

#8 – Those who have the goal of restoring you when you mess up and not wounding you!

100 Ways to Love Your Neighbor

/ Dennis Griffith / Leave a comment

It seems as if it ought to be simple enough: “Love your neighbor.”  But experience tells me it is not as easy as it might seem.  And, if we take seriously the parables of Jesus, we learn it is not as easy as some tend to think.  When we read what Jesus holds up as the standard of neighborliness we realize that to love our neighbor is not the same as the absence of hostilities or even just the presence of genuine affections.  To love our neighbors we need to be involved in one anothers lives to some degree.  Even one insurance company gets that: “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there…”

But this is easier said than done in our fast pace, busy, world.  And Frankly, even State Farm’s claim seems a little dubious to me.  When I think about it, they’re only there for me when I pay them to be. Try dropping your policy and see if they seem like such “Good Neighbors” then.  I have my doubts.

But who can blame them? Life is busy.  And my neighbors are as active as I am.  How are we supposed to engage them, even if we commit to carving out the time?

Josh Reeves offer us a few suggestions.  Here are Josh’s Top 25:

  1. Stay outside in the front yard longer while watering the yard
  2. Walk your dog regularly around the same time in your neighborhood
  3. Sit on the front porch and letting kids play in the front yard
  4. Pass out baked goods (fresh bread, cookies, brownies, etc.)
  5. Invite neighbors over for dinner
  6. Attend and participate in HOA functions
  7. Attend the parties invited to by neighbors
  8. Do a food drive or coat drive in winter and get neighbors involved
  9. Have a game night (yard games outside, or board games inside)
  10. Art swap night – bring out what you’re tired of and trade with neighbors
  11. Grow a garden and give out extra produce to neighbors
  12. Have an Easter egg hunt  on your block and invite neighbors use their front yards
  13. Start a weekly open meal night in your home
  14. Do a summer BBQ every Friday night and invite others to contribute
  15. Create a block/ street email and phone contact list for safety
  16. Host a sports game watching party
  17. Host a coffee and dessert night
  18. Organize and host a ladies artistic creation night
  19. Organize a tasting tour on your street (everyone sets up food and table on front porch)\
  20. Host a movie night and discussion afterwards
  21. Start a walking/running group in the neighborhood
  22. Start hosting a play date weekly for other stay at home parents
  23. Organize a carpool for your neighborhood to help save gas
  24. Volunteer to coach a local little league sports team
  25. Have a front yard ice cream party in the summer

To read the rest of Josh’s ideas click: 100Ways.  Josh has a link at the bottom of his Top 25 list.

H.T. to Jonathan Dodson @ Creation Project.

7 Ways to Be a Great Host

/ Dennis Griffith / 1 Comment

There is an ancient rule among the Benedictines: 

“Let every guest who arrives be received like Christ. For He is going to say, ‘I came as a guest and you received me’.”

This would be a good concept for all churches to remember and instill.

Unlike most churches in our country, the church I have the privilege to pastor frequently and regularly has new visitors.  But like most churches, we have much to learn before we could claim that the Rule of Benedict is an accurate description of our congregational practice.

I am confident some would feel it is true of us already. I have never been part of a church that better demonstrates a love for one another than Walnut Hill Church does. And that love is frequently extended to our guests.  That’s why many of them are now part of the family.

But I also suspect that there are others, for whatever reasons, who have come and gone without necessarily having experienced the same thing. While it is obvious that we will never get to the point where we will keep everyone, I am concerned about those who do not stick because they did not feel loved, or perhaps even welcomed.

Studies indicate that the typical church needs to keep 16% of first-time guests in order to have a growth rate that roughly keeps pace with the annual national birth rate.  Churches that are growing and healthy generally see a 25-30% rate of assimilation/integration of those who visit.  (By the way, on average, 85% of guests who return the following week generally join with that church.) 

Gary McIntosh, in his book, Beyond the First Visit, offers seven suggestions about how church members can move beyond being friendly to becomming great hosts:

  1. Invite your guests with a personal invitation.
  2. Arrive early and make sure everything is prepared for your guests’ arrival.
  3. Greet the guests warmly at the entrance and escort them to their seats.
  4. Assist guests with understanding what is taking place.
  5. Anticipate as many questions as possible in advance, so guests do not have to ask.
  6. Do something extra to make your guests’ visit special.
  7. Walk guests to the door and invite them back.

Let me suggest that these suggestions be adopted by individual church members. Don’t try to program this as much as cultivate it.  There is no need to wait for the pastor, or some formal committee, to be hospitable.