Friendship

Who Do You Listen To?

/ Dennis Griffith / 1 Comment

I am blessed to have some great friends. While I always enjoy making new friends, there is nothing like an old friend. Someone who has known you long, and known you well. These are the friends who can see right through the veneer we sometimes try to hide beneath. And because they can see through it they won’t let you hide.  These are the ones who ask penetrating questions. I have to come clean because they will know if I am skirting the issue by giving some vague reply.  These are the folks I go to for counsel. These are the folks I always listen to.

In a post not long ago, Perry Noble asked the question: Who Should You Listen To?  He then proceeds to make a list of 8 qualifications.

If you are in leadership (and especially if you are in church leadership) then you have probably discovered the reality that God loves you…and everyone else has an incredible plan for your life!

One of the struggles that we all MUST wrestle with is who to listen to when it comes to making decisions.  The Bible tells us that we unwise to be Lone Rangers (Proverbs 15:22) and the Bible has several stories of people who made bad decisions because they listened to the wrong people (see I Kings 12:1-16.)

However, it is IMPOSSIBLE to listen to everyone. With the barrage of information and opinions coming our way via Facebook, email, twitter and other media, anyone who tries to focus on the opinions of everyone will simply lose his mind, and most likely any leadership effectiveness, if his obsession becomes making everyone happy.

So, who do we listen to?  Who is it that should ALWAYS have access to us…and we should ALWAYS desire their thoughts and insights? Here is Perry Noble’s list:

#1 – Those who know me, who have spent time with me and understand that there is a person behind the personality.

#2 – Those who have seen me at my best and worst…and love me anyway.

#3 – Those who do not automatically assume the worse about me and always give me the benefit of the doubt.  (ALWAYS beware of the person who seeks to pounce on you as soon as they hear something bad!)

#4 – Those who are willing to stand with me in a tough time–THOSE WHO BLEED WITH ME CAN LEAD WITH ME!!!

#5 – Those who offer correction for the purpose of building up rather than tearing down (people who always seek to tear you down should be ignored!  If they do not correct/confront in love then they are nothing more than a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal – see I Corinthians 13:1)

#6 – Those who are willing to take a confrontation straight to the person rather to an online audience.

#7 – Those who are not always looking for a reason to attack/hate you.

#8 – Those who have the goal of restoring you when you mess up and not wounding you!

Natural Evangelism

/ Dennis Griffith / Leave a comment

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My old friend, and one-time-mentor, Doug Pollock is releasing a new book, expected to be on the bookstore shelves in June.

Doug has travelled the world sharing his faith, and has studied evangelism for the better part of two decades now. He’s also penned a number of articles and co-authored other helpful books about evangelism. But as I read the first chapter of the pre-published manuscript I find myself eagerly awaiting this latest work.

As an old friend it has been interesting, and encouraging, to see how Doug’s understanding and perspective have changed and grown through the years.  Doug’s outward focus has always been keen, but I have appreciated how his upward focus has continually grown.  Doug’s love for our Lord is glaringly obvious.  And because of his love for God, Doug’s love for people is equally obvious.  And that is the key.

It has been said that there are two motives for evangelism: One is “I’m right, you’re wrong.”  The second is “I love you.”  Doug’s latest work exudes the latter motive.  And he does so because it is also Jesus’ motive.

The following is an excerpt of the first chapter of Doug’s upcoming book: God Space: Where Spiritual Conversations Happen Naturally.  This excerpt appeared in his most recent newsletter, which I received this afternoon.  His 10 Questions are worth pondering.  And you can score yourself at the end.

***

Jesus was called many things during his short time here on earth.  My favorite title for him is found in Matthew 11.19 and Luke 7.34 where Jesus acknowledges his awareness of the fact that many were calling him “a friend of sinners”.  In my mind, no title gets at the heart of why Jesus came to earth more than this one.  It so closely coincides with his mission stated in Luke 19.10: “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.”

If we are going to make God’s “invisible” kingdom become visible, then Christ’s heart needs to be formed in us.  Prayerfully ponder the following questions. Grade yourself by using the following scale for each question. Jot down a number at the end of each question. When you have finished, add your numbers together to assess where you are in your spiritual journey.

1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10

 Never              Sometimes              Always

1. Can you overlook ungodly attitudes and lifestyles in your efforts to connect with others?

2. Are you able to suspend your judgment for long periods of time around not-yet Christians?

3. Do you consistently seek to understand the not-yet Christians you know before seeking to be understood by them?

4. Are you patient enough to wait for the not-yet Christians in your life to ask for your opinions?

5. Be honest: Do you like people who are far from God?

6. Do people who are far from God like you?  For example: Are you invited to ‘party parties’?  (Jesus was!)

7. Does your body language communicate an open-hearted acceptance toward the not-yet Christians in your life?

8. Are you able to communicate acceptance to not-yet Christians without endorsing their lifestyle?

9. In your relationships with not-yet Christians, do you typcially offer kindness rather than ‘rightness’?

10. Is your heart consistently broken and filled with compassion for the not-yet Christians in your life?

90-100 – Congratulations! You might be frequently misunderstood by Christians, but the not-yet Christians in your life are undoubtedly drawn toward the heart of Jesus formed in you. Keep walking in this light.

50-90 – You must decrease and Jesus must increase, one heart attitude at a time. Embrace the people and the situations in your life as God attempts to prune those heart attitudes that are not bearng fruit for the Kingdom.

Under 50 – Perhaps Jesus needs to do something in you before He can do something through you.  You may want to consider asking God to do the soul surgery needed to form the heart of Jesus in you.

To read the entire first chapter click: God Space, then click the picture.