Diamond in the Rough

The NFL Draft commences in a little more than an hour from the time I write this post.  Not surprising, the pre-draft headlines are focused on Matt Stafford, out of the University of Georgia, and Marc Sanchez, out of Southern Cal, two high profile quarterbacks.  But the real story of this draft, no matter where he ends up, is Ole Miss Offensive Lineman Michael Oher.

The video above gives an overview.  The best video I’ve seen, giving much more of the whole story, was on ESPN earlier this afternoon, which you can watch by clicking: Adopted Family Helps Oher

Oher grew up on the streets of Memphis. His mother was a crack addict. His father had been murdered.  Oher was homeless and left fending for himself by age 6.  He didn’t know his correct birthday or his own real name.  Because of his size and athleticism someone sent him to Briarcrest Christian School to see if he might help out the athletic program.  Briarcrest officials recognized that Oher was completely unprepared for the academic rigors of the school, but also knew that he had no place to turn. So they allowed him in school, on academic probation and inelligible for any athletic competition until he was caught up in school. 

As amazing as that part of the story is, there is more.  While enrolled at Briarcrest Oher was still largely on his own. That is until one cold Thanksgiving night, a school classmate driving with her family spotted Michael on the street wearing shorts and a thin T-shirt.  The Tuohy family turned their car around picked Oher up and took him to their home.  Over time the Tuohy family bought Michael clothes and food, and allowed him to stay with them – until they finally adopted him into their family. Loved for the first time in his life Oher progressed in the classroom and on the football field. He enrolled at Ole Miss and became an All American. Today he will become a first round draft choice – and a millionaire.  But I suspect Michael Oher will be the one man drafted who understands that love far outvalues cash.

The story has already been made a book, The Blind Side, which has been on the New York Times Bestseller list.  It has been featured on NPR’s All Things Considered. And a motion picture is in the works.  But it is the story that may not be told that also fascinates me. It is the story of those whose faith was expressed through tangible love. It is the story of the Tuohy family and the folks at Briarcrest Christian School.the-blind-side

Think about it. The Tuohy’s were a well-to-do Memphis family.  They had children, including an attractive teenage daughter, who I’m sure they were concerned to protect.  And here is this big, huge, black guy, from the streets, that they invited into their home.  I know race should not matter, but it is Memphis. But even apart from race, this is a huge, undisciplined, teenager off the streets.  Most people would have just kept driving. Some kind folks may have bought food and clothes. Others may have gone so far as to make sure he found a home.  But risk the unknown, and with children in the home? I imagine few would have done that.  But the Tuohy’s did. They were compelled by love. And their love transformed a life.

I also have to commend the headmaster at Briarcrest.  Not many administrators would have done the same thing. Some may have admitted Oher because of his athletic prowess. But how many would admit him simply to help him?  Briarcrest had no reasonable reason to expect that Oher would ever succeed in the classroom. When he got to the school he carried a 0.4 gpa.  But these people cared. They lived out their faith, and helped this helpless young giant, even when they had little hope to benefit from it. They reflect what Christian Education ought to be about.

This story makes you feel-good, no matter how it is told. But I stand in awe as I see the Apostle Paul’s words come to life on ESPN:  “The only thing that matters is faith expressing itself through love.” (Galatians 5.6)

Triumph Over Tragedy Illustrates Grace

What an amazing story of triumph over tragedy, forgiveness, reconciliation, and grace.

The name Bouniconti will ring a bell for sports fans over 40. Nick Bouniconti was a Hall of Fame Middle Linebacker for the Miami Dolphins during their dynasty years of the ’70’s.  But this story is not about Nick, nor is it really about football. The story is about Nick’s son, Marc Bouniconti, who, while following in his fathers football footstseps, was tragically parlyzed while making a tackle during a game in 1985.

The above video from ESPN tells the story of how the paralysis caused a subsequent 20 year alienation with his alma mater, The Citadel, and how that relationship has now been healed. 

As nice as that story is, it is not the story I have in mind. I think it pales in comparison to another reconciliation in Marc Bouniconti’s life. 

The story I have in mind is one I heard just this morning on the radio. It is the story of Bouniconti reuniting with the player who caused the paralysis, Herman Jacobs of East Tennessee State University.  It is a wonderful story of grace: how one man gave “life” to the one who had hurt him.  After more than 20 years of separation, Bouniconti and Jacobs reconnected, and Bouniconti reached out to help Jacobs realize his life dream.

Click the link to watch the news clip of this uplifitng story: Bouniconti & Jacobs.

Global Missions is Not For SuperChristians

Missions is not just for Super Christians.  The Great Commission will be accomplished by ordinary people, who posess a heartfelt faith in Jesus Christ, and who are faithful to follow Jesus’ instruction to go into all the world to make discples. 

Simple, right?

Well, the concept is simple. Even the decision to oby or not obey is a simple choice. There are only two options, yes and no. There is no in between.  But the implementation is not so simple.  Each individual has a question to answer regarding his/her role.  Even before that role is determined one must be informed about what roles there are that need to be played.  Then there are the questions about what God is doing in the world. What skills do I have, or do I need to develop?  How do I figure out where in the world I should go?

Every Christian is called to answer these questions.  No one can slip by, simply dismissing Jesus’ mandate by saying, “I’m not called to missions.”  Even if that were true – and I suspect it would be more accurate to say “I am not called to go overseas” – we are still left to answer the question: Then what are you called to do?  And, Where are you called to do it? No one whom God has called has been called without a purpose for his/her life.  And frankly, whatever the specific purpose, at least an aspect of everyone’s calling is connected to taking the Gospel to the Nations. 

I am aware of no better tool to help people discover what God is doing in the world and what role they can play in God’s Mission (missio dei) than the PERSPECTIVES course.  This course does take work, but the benefits far overshadow the expended effort.  To say PERSPECTIVES makes a life-changing impact is not mere hyperoble.  It’s true. 

The above video offers testimonies from some who have participated in this couse.  The video encourages you to find a class near you, which I would also urge.  But what is not revealed in the video is that if an intensive 15 week course is not feasible for you, for whatever reasons, there are alternatives. One is an Intensive PERSPECTIVES class, where participants are indundated with God’s Global Glory for either one or three weeks of instruction. I am not sure how the corresponding readings are handled.  Another option is to take this course online. When taken online you don’t have the benefit of  interaction with other participants, but you can spread your reading out over the course of a year.  For this option check out: PERSPECTIVES Online.

And finally, if you are a college or seminary student, PERSPECTIVES can be taken for either undergad or grad school credits.

Overcoming Evil Leadership

leader

Reggie McNeal, in his book Practicing Greatness, makes this audacious statement:

“Bad leaders are a form of evil.”

When I first read that statement I thought “Woe! That’s a bit strong.”  But as I read further I came to understand his thinking… and agreed. 

Consider his whole point:

Bad leaders are a form of evil. They curse people by diminishing their life. They rob people  of hope. They reduce people’s dreams and expectations for their lives. They discourage and disparage people.  They leave people worse off than when they found them. Bad leadership is not always the result of bad character or intentional malevolence. It can result from simple incompetence.

While McNeal’s assertion is strong, I think it has strong merits.  Consider the results he associates with bad leadership: lost hope, diminished dreams that lead to settling, demoralization and discouragement.  All of these things are bad, even evil really.  And while poor leadership is not the only cause of such attitudes, bad leadership is a frequent incubator of them. 

As a pastor, which is the primary target McNeal is aiming at, this perspective hits home. It also hits deep.  My very job, my calling, is to remind people of the hope they have in Christ and to help them to function in line with that hope according to their God-given purpose.  When, by God’s grace, I am effective, I get to see God change peoples lives for the better.  When that happens it is exciting and exhilerating.  But when I fail… well it can get pretty ugly.  And I do fail. Sometimes because of matters beyond my influence. But at other times I fail because I am not up to the challenge – which is a gentle way of admitting my incompetence.

I have become keenly aware of the influence of bad leadership, not only by my own failures, but as I have watched my son’s athletic career.  I have seen good coaches make a positive impact that extends far beyond the playing fields.  And I have seen my son demoralized, I have seen his dreams and aspiarations diminished, and I have seen the sense of purposelessness that accompanies hopelessness, not because of an innate lack of talent but as a result of bad coaching – or bad leadership from a coach.  McNeal’s perception is all the more pertinent as I  watched this take place, because the coach who was primarily responsible for this is not a bad guy. Quite the contrary. He is likeable. He seems to have his priorities in exemplary order.  He was never unpleasant. He was simply not competent in the job he held. And that incompetence negatively influenced scores of young men, including my son.  So, as McNeal says, while the man is good, the effects of his bad leadership are evil.  

It is sobering to realize I can have that same negative effect on people when I fail them as a pastor, or as a father, or in any other leadership role I may assume.

A few applications come to mind as I think through this.

1. This truth applies to every person in a position of leadership, professional or volunteer, formal or informal, organizational or recreational.  The purpose of leadership is always to guide and ultimately enhance.

I say “ultimately” because sometimes leadership requires breaking down or taking steps backward before moving forward.  It depends upon the inherited situation. At such times what may temporarily appear to be failure, is in reality a necessity. Not everyone will always see this, but then again, that’s why not everyone was called to be the leader.

This is humbling, and a bit frightening.  But the words of the Lord to Joshua come to mind: “Be strong and corageous…” (Joshua 1.6) And paraphrasing the rest of that passage: “Be strong and very courageous, being careful to do everything God has called you to do, and to do it in the manner he wants you to do it.”

This command applies to all of us who assume leadership roles. In the church, as Elders, youth leaders, etc; In the community as coaches, civic leaders, elected officials, etc; or in the business world as supervisors, foremen, or executives.  All of these roles can be catalysts for the advancement of God’s Kingdom, done for his glory, and can benefit  those God has called us to lead. (1 Corinthians 10.31)

2. We must live in line with the Gospel, or with the Gospel always in mind. 

Now, of course, this is always a truth. But I think it is pertinent to say again here for a simple reason. We will all fail at some point in our leadership. Only God is omni-competent.  Some of our failures will be situational, and are not reflective of our leadership abilities. But at other times the Peter Principle comes into play – we are in over our heads, not up to the challenge, not competent for the job.  At those times we embody the “good guy, bad leader = evil” eqation.

Knowing this ahead of times makes leadership rather daunting. Many would rather foresake the risk of leadership altogether – if they could. But this need not be our attitude if we understand the gospel.  God does not, and will not, reject us on the basis of our failure and incompetence, even when that spells evil.  Quite the contrary, God called us who are evil, failures, and incapable in the first place.  He redeemed such people through the blood of Christ. And He is in the process of shaping us and growing us.  So we can own up to our “evil” in leadership, and be grateful for God’s provision in Christ. 

In fact, we should even be grateful for the reminder of our inability.  Because the one whom God is angered with and rejects is not the one who humbly recognizes failure and incompetence, and consequently turns to Jesus. Instead the Lord rejects the one who is confident in his/her own leadership abilities and, at best, simply pays lip service to God.

3. I need to pursue greatness in leadership. It is not so that I become the object of admiration. And it is not only so I can avoid being a contributor to evil.  It is so that I can bless others through serving them as a leader. Or put a better way, so that God can bless people through me and my simple competent leadership.

Common Perils of the Professionally Holy

inclement-weather

There are some peculiar perils prevalent among the professional holy – those in full time ministry or service for God. High on this list: We know a lot of stuff and we do a lot of good things.  And it is easy to misconstrue either, or both, of these with being righteous. But neither of these things makes us righteous.

In Christ alone we are declared righteous, by God’s grace through faith in the substitutionary life and death of Jesus. (The theological word is “imputed”.)  Actual righteousness is faith in Christ expressing itself in good actions; or to put it another way, only when our actions are driven by genuine faith are we actually righteous.

Knowing a lot of stuff, even sound, biblical theological stuff is not itself righteousness.  It is not even faith. It may provide the substance for faith, but  right knowledge alone does not necessarily lead to faith.  There are a lot of things that I know, that I agree are true, yet that at any given time I still fail to trust and act upon.  Many things I assent to are not manifest in my character.  Such knowledge is my profession-al faith (that which I profess) but not a functional faith. And that disparity is important.

This is a particular problem in my denominational circles. We have a rich, deep, profound, and thoroughly biblical theological heritage.  It takes discipline and commitment to get a firm grasp on the system of doctrine.  And I suspect it may be for that reason that some have, historically as well as today, felt a sense of righteousness for enduring the rigors of study and learning. 

But apart from actual faith there is no righteousness. In fact, even if faith is present there is no righteousness unless that faith is coupled with good works.  (Please note: I am not suggesting that there is no salvation without “works”.  We are saved – “justified” – by grace through faith in Christ alone.  Nothing else added – nada.  Nor am I suggesting that apart from works there is no “imputed righteousness” – the righteousness of Christ credited to us at the moment of conversion/justification.  What I am saying is that there is no “actual righteousness”, no righteousness of our own, apart from faith being expressed through our conduct.)

Just what makes a good deed “good” I cannot say.  At least I cannot say concisely enough to ponder in this post.  I hope it will suffice to say that good deeds are those things that benefit others and honor God. 

I suspect that many deeds are done to the benefit of others, whether there is any mind toward honoring God or not.  In many cases we would never be able to tell, at least so far as those deeds are done by others. Sometimes, if we are honest, our own good deeds are done without conscious thought of honoring God.  I do not want to make the case here that these deeds are therefore not “good”.  But I do want to again suggest that they fail to qualify as righteous.

Again, righteousness may best be defined as Faith expressed through good deeds.  Genuine faith has a conscious awareness of God, his glory, his grace to us, and his expectations of us. And in this we are all deficient, sometimes more so than at others. 

Jerry Bridges, in his excellent book Respectable Sins, explains that our thoughtlessness about God, those moments or periods when we are not thinking about or conscious of God, demonstrates the very essence of “ungodliness”.  It is the sin of not being conscious of God.  And all are guilty of this sin, to varying degrees.

But if this is so, and I’m convinced it is, it is then possible to do good deeds and sin at the same time, and by the same act.  (Again, it could be reasoned that this negates the idea that the act is good. But for practical reasons I am not making that argument.)  People benefit from our actions, God may even be praised for our work, but we workers fail to recognize God – except maybe in hindsight.  Good as this may be, we must never kid ourselves into mistaking these deeds as righteous. 

Only when our genuine faith is expressed in action that honors God and benefits others, only when all those criteria are met, are we actually righteous. 

As I write I am well aware that most who read this post are probably not in full-time ministry. Nevertheless you most likely will recognize this same tension, this same problem, in your own life.  That’s because, while this problem is prevalent among ministers, it is not limted to us.   It is universal among all who “profess” faith in Christ.  And in that sense, with a little play on words, we can still say this problem is common to the “professional holy”.

So what is the solution?

I don’t have anything profound to say. I know nothing that will eliminate the problem from your life, this side of heaven.  But a couple things do come to mind that may help us deal with it, and perhaps lessen the extent of it over time.

1. Reflect on the meaning of Righteousness. Train yourself to evaluate your life in light of the twin requisites of righteousness: Faith + Good Deeds. Don’t allow yourself to settle for one or the other.  Remember these twins cannot be separated.

2. Deal with it.  Recognize the problem, and the associated sin.  Realize this is not the way it ought to be, but it is the way it is.  Confess the sin.

3. Apply the Gospel to yourself.  Remember, Christ did nto die for the righteous but for the ungodly.  His death has paid the penalty of your sins of ungodliness and lack of righteousness. When you repent of these sins and believe what he has done on your behalf you grow in grace; his righteousness is credited to you.  (What an amazing exchange!)

4. Live in light of that Gospel.  Act toward God in accord with the love he has given to you. Act toward others with the grace & love you know God has demonstrated to you.  And do you know what that is if you do these things?  Righteousness.

Commissioner-in-Chief?

washington

A day after Tea Parties were held across our land, I learn that our money is not the only thing our elected officials in Washington are concerned about afterall.  With wars looming, pirates pestering American freighters, and our economy still in the gallows, apparently Congress has its eyes on college football. They want to fix the BCS. 

While I cannot endorse all his positions, I have to support David Climer of the Tennessean, who in his April 12 column spoke to the issue: Congress Has Bigger Problems to Address Than BCS.

Real Christians SHOULD Dance

dance-to-the-music

I received this quote from my friends at Graced Again.  The author, Bob Flayhart, is minister at Oak Mountain Presbyterian Church in Birmingham, AL. 

A Gospel-centered life is the Christian Waltz. A waltz is a dance made up of three steps. Christians need to consider the Christian three step when it comes to growth.

In the first step, we acknowledge our need as we see our sin in light of the Law. In the second step, we look to Christ to change us. In the third step, we fight against sin and fight to choose righteousness in the strength of the Holy Spirit. Repent! Believe! Fight!…Repent! Believe! Fight!…Repent! Believe! Fight!

An emphasis on the love and grace of God lays the dance floor,or the foundation, for the waltz. Unless Christians are convinced of God’s love for them and His favor over them by virtue of their union with Christ, they will minimize their sin and engage in blame-shifting and excuse- making in order to feel justified before God.

Unfortunately, many in the Church today teach believers a Two-step. The two-step is to simply repent and fight. They acknowledge their sin and proceed with new resolve to try harder to avoid sin. The problem with this approach is it bypasses the cross of Christ and the power of the resurrection.  -Bob Flayhart

This was such a good insight and great illustration I wanted to post the whole thing rather than just the link.  But check out Graced Again and subscribe to their weekly e-mail.  They regulalrly provide thought provoking and insightful quotes.

Maundy Thursday Matters

help-me

Today is Maundy Thursday.  It is a special day on the Christian calendar. But many Christians don’t know what maundy means. I imagine for some this day could easily fall just after Manic Monday, Ruby Tuesday… You get the idea. So if the term Maundy Thursday sounds foreign to you, relax, you are far from alone. 

The term Maundy is generally held to be derived through Middle English and old French, mande’; which comes from the Latin mandatum, meaning mandate or command.  This is the first word of the Latin phrase:

Mandatum novum do vobis ut diligatis invicem sicut dilexi vos.”

Or more familiar:

“A new command I give to you: Love one another.  As I have loved you so you must love one another.” (John 13.34)

This is a special day in the life of Christ’s People. It is a day when we remember that Jesus has commissioned us, not only to believe the Gospel of his life which was to be – and has been – given for the redemption of all who believe, but to live out the Gospel in relation to one another.  We are to love one another in the same tangible way, and to the same extent, as Jesus has loved us. 

This is what Jesus commanded of his believers only hours before he willingly gave his life for ours. (John 15.12-14)

Worldliness in Prespective

worldliness1

I recently finished reading the short book Worldliness, edited by C.J. Mahaney.  Each chapter is written by different men from the Sovereign Grace family.  I found it very insightful and practical. 

I appreciate that the writers did not merely resort to the worn out separatist “Us vs. The World” rhetoric.  Instead they wrestled intelligently, theologically, and bibilcally about the pertinent questions: What does worldliness actually mean?  What actual problems does worldliness pose?  Only once those questions are amply answered do the writers delve into practical applications in the various spheres of our culture.

I had given some thought to blogging about the book.  Already in previous posts I have elaborated on some of the insights I have gained.  But then on Crossway.blog I have found that Jonathan Leeman of 9 Marks has shared some highlights from each chapter.  Leeman has done such a good job that it made my intentions unnecessary.  I will still likely interact and expound upon some other insights in future posts, but for a good introduction to and overview of the book I encourage you to check out what Leeman has written.  Click: Worldliness

But don’t neglect the book. It is short, but beneficial. I’ve added it to my ‘must read’ list.

Mere Marketing Misses the Mark

target

This had to be one of the more irritating telemarketing calls I can recall. 

Some guy cold-called me at my church office yesterday and wanted me to give him a blow-by-blow of our Outreach strategy.  He had a service to sell that would “enhance” our attractiveness to the community.  To listen to him it sounded like a can’t miss thing.  One problem with that ‘can’t miss program’… I had used similar services in past churches, and my present church had used it prior to my arrival.  All previous tries were whiffs. We attracted ZERO.  And we blessed no one – except, maybe, the sellers of the service.

But the “selling” of the church is not the only thing that gauled me.

One thing that rubbed me the wrong way was the pretense of selling this service, not for the money but for the benefit of the Church.  What c-#-@-p!; err, what a joke.  Who did he think he’s kidding? (Or, is he kidding himself?)  I have no objection to people being in business to make money.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Even in the church supply business there is nothing wrong with profit.  Scripture speaks against dishonest gain, not against  legitimate gains.  So this guy had no reason to hide the fact that he is in business. Just own up to it. To deny it leads me to mistrust him even more.

A second thing, and what probably bugged me most, was that he had the audacity to demand that I explain to him about our Outreach program.  He really insisted. Ordinarily I am happy to share our vision. But this was a cold-call telemarketer.  I don’t have time for that.  Trying to get off the phone, I simply expressed: “We’re doing fine.”  Yet, he kept pushing, even asking sarcasitcally: “Doesn’t your church want new people to come?”  Since when did I, or our church, become accountable to this guy?

Finally, in retrospect, I am also a little disappointed.  I finally gave the guy a brief synopsis of our Outreach strategy. Our plan is simply:  “To Bless the community where God has sovereignly placed us.”  Though we are happy our church has grown significantly in both members and attendance over the past two years, that’s not what we want to be about. It is not about us. It is about God’s glory & grace. It is about loving our neighbors. We are intentionally becoming more Incarnational than Attractional. In other words we are measuring our health more-and-more by the way we go out into the community to serve those around us than by the number of people we put on our rolls.  Therefore we are engaging in things like Prayerwalking, Servant Evangelism, and equipping and unleashing our members to serve in a number of ways throughout the Mountain Empire.  We are learning to express the love of Christ in practical ways to our neighbors.  Eventually we hope to be able to express the love of Christ in significant ways…

But marketing, while it may have a place for the church, will never of itself help us meet those objectives.  Marketing by it’s very nature is about selling of self.  Marketing is about “US”.

What was disappointing is that this guy didn’t comprehend what I was telling him.  Not at all.  His paradigm only allowed him to digest the work of the church in one way – mere numbers attending our church.

What is more disappointing is that I suspect this guy reflects the majority understanding of mission permeating American Evangelicalism: “It’s All About Us.”   And with that perspective – even when we sincerely think we are doing God a favor when our churches grow – our influence has steadily diminished throughout our society. 

We have ignored the covenant mandate made with Abram in Genesis 12, that the Lord’s plan is to bless all Peoples through us; we have neglected Christ’s madate to love our neighbors (Mark 12); and have have forgotten the example of the early church (Acts 2).  How else can we explain this narcissistic myopia in Evangleicalism?

Let me finish with this: I’m not opposed to church growth.  I agree that healthy churches do grow; and that ‘non-growth’ is nothing to take pride in.  But I have learned that not all growth is healthy; and that sometimes a period of stagnation or even decline may in reality be an opportunity for a chrysalis period.  Again, I have the privilege to pastor a church that is showing growth.  But either way, when our focus is primarily on ourselves it is not where it needs to be: first, on God; and second, significantly on blessing our neighbors.  (Mark 12.28-31)

When we learn to effectively place the emphasis in the proper order, God is glorified, our neighbors are blessed, and we are all better off.

When Sinners Say “I Do”

after-the-wedding

Had I had my way today my wife and I would be celebrating the 20th anniversary of the date of our engagement.  My thought then was simple and – in my opinion – romantic:  If I proposed on a date that I could easily remember, then we would be more likley to celebrate it in the future.

But, I didn’t have my way.  Carolyn knew that I had purchased her ring and that the jeweler had finished sizing it to fit her finger.  She was impatient.  And for some reason she didn’t seem to share my sentiment that April 1 could be redeemed to be a romantic day for a proposal… So she got her ring a few days earlier – on some long-forgotten date at the end of March.

Since that time I have wised up. No, I still think that April 1 would have been a fine day for the proposal. I have wised up about how much work marriage is.  I know the benefits of working on marriage far exceed the efforts. But through 20 years of marriage (come August) and the scores of pre-marital and marital counseling sessions I’ve conducted as a pastor I have seen conclusively that there is no substitute for working at a good marriage. 

The primary reason work is necessary is our sin.  Sin messes up everything. Sin distorts our perspective. Sin prompts us to self-centeredness & selfishness.  Sin rises up in pride & self-righteousness. And sin makes us unwilling to forgive.  Any of these traits put a damper on a relationship. When any of these come coupled, or more, it does damage to a relationship that takes a lot of work to restore. 

Most counseling seems to focus on pointing out these pitfalls and/or developing the skills to cope and overcome them. These are valuable. But they don’t get to the root of the problem.  If we are going to work wisely and effectively in our marriages, we need to apply the Gospel, which includes addressing our condition of sin and how in each of our lives our sin expresses itself.  Sucgh awareness is able to get to the heart of the matter, and gives much more potency to relational skills.i-do4

For that reason I have been pleased and challenged by a book by Dave Harvey titled: When Sinners Say “I Do”.  

In an excerpt that introduces the book Harvey writes:

Marriage is a union of two people who arrive at the altar toting some surprisingly large luggage.  Often it gets opened right there on the honeymoon, sometimes it waits for the week after.  But the suitcases are always there, sometimes tripping their owners, sometimes popping open unexpectedly and disgorging forgotten contents.  The Bible calls it sin and understanding its influence can make all the difference for a man and woman who are building a life together.   

This is not a discouragng book.  It’s just real. And Harvey wonderfully allows the truth of the Gospel to shine in practical and penetrating ways.

I like the way Paul Tripp describes it in the Foreword of the book:

This book grasps the core drama of every married couple. This drama is no respecter of race, ethnic origin, location, or period of history. It is the one thing that explains the doom and hope of every human relationship…

Working through this book has led me to remember: I am my biggest marital problem.  And whether you are the husband or the wife; whether you have been married 20+ years or if you are still in the stages of preparing for your wedding; that truth is still the same. It is the same for all of us. 

But by wrestling with this problem, and applying the Word of God to those common issues that can plague any marriage, Harvey helps us understand:

When the sin we bring to marriage becomes real to us, then the gospel becomes vital and marriage becomes sweet.

Or simply:

When sin becomes bitter, marriage becomes sweet…