My friend Nathan Lewis has written a profoundly heartfelt, insightful post titled: Why So Many Pastors Don’t Get Close to Church Members.

Nathan is an excellent writer, and has a broad spectrum of interests, so that he has written a good post is no surprise.  But the theme he dares to address treads into sensitive territory: the relationships between church members and pastors.  And this post will be beneficial to those in both categories.

It is important for pastors because he expresses the pains and vulnerabilities that all pastors – and their families – have to live with.  There is a sort of catharsis in knowing that someone understands.  While not wishing the pain on anyone else, it is nice to know you are not alone -and that it is not just you!

But I think it would also be beneficial for the average church member to read Nathan’s post, and consider his reflections.  Why? Because I don’t think most church members have any idea about this dynamic; this tension that pastors, and their families, have to live with.  I think it would be helpful if you understood.  It might answer some questions you have about the way your pastor, or former pastors, have related to you.  It might give you some insight about the psyche of your pastor and his wife.  At the very least it will help you to know how to pray for your pastor.

Like Nathan, I have always chosen to befriend instead of keeping a distance. And like Nathan I have experienced the pain of rejection that accompanies the departure of a friend.  Still, I cannot imagine functioning any other way.

Whether you are a pastor or a REAL person, take a moment to read Nathan’s post.