Perry Noble

Who Do You Listen To?

/ Dennis Griffith / 1 Comment

I am blessed to have some great friends. While I always enjoy making new friends, there is nothing like an old friend. Someone who has known you long, and known you well. These are the friends who can see right through the veneer we sometimes try to hide beneath. And because they can see through it they won’t let you hide.  These are the ones who ask penetrating questions. I have to come clean because they will know if I am skirting the issue by giving some vague reply.  These are the folks I go to for counsel. These are the folks I always listen to.

In a post not long ago, Perry Noble asked the question: Who Should You Listen To?  He then proceeds to make a list of 8 qualifications.

If you are in leadership (and especially if you are in church leadership) then you have probably discovered the reality that God loves you…and everyone else has an incredible plan for your life!

One of the struggles that we all MUST wrestle with is who to listen to when it comes to making decisions.  The Bible tells us that we unwise to be Lone Rangers (Proverbs 15:22) and the Bible has several stories of people who made bad decisions because they listened to the wrong people (see I Kings 12:1-16.)

However, it is IMPOSSIBLE to listen to everyone. With the barrage of information and opinions coming our way via Facebook, email, twitter and other media, anyone who tries to focus on the opinions of everyone will simply lose his mind, and most likely any leadership effectiveness, if his obsession becomes making everyone happy.

So, who do we listen to?  Who is it that should ALWAYS have access to us…and we should ALWAYS desire their thoughts and insights? Here is Perry Noble’s list:

#1 – Those who know me, who have spent time with me and understand that there is a person behind the personality.

#2 – Those who have seen me at my best and worst…and love me anyway.

#3 – Those who do not automatically assume the worse about me and always give me the benefit of the doubt.  (ALWAYS beware of the person who seeks to pounce on you as soon as they hear something bad!)

#4 – Those who are willing to stand with me in a tough time–THOSE WHO BLEED WITH ME CAN LEAD WITH ME!!!

#5 – Those who offer correction for the purpose of building up rather than tearing down (people who always seek to tear you down should be ignored!  If they do not correct/confront in love then they are nothing more than a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal – see I Corinthians 13:1)

#6 – Those who are willing to take a confrontation straight to the person rather to an online audience.

#7 – Those who are not always looking for a reason to attack/hate you.

#8 – Those who have the goal of restoring you when you mess up and not wounding you!

10 Signs of Approaching Meltdown

/ Dennis Griffith / Leave a comment

Perry Noble reveals and responds to a stunning statistic:

My counselor shared a statistic with me two years ago that floored me – 90% of the people entering ministry do not retire from ministry. They either quit or have some sort of moral/ethical failure that disqualifies them.

Jesus did not call us to this or wants this for our lives. Yet so many of us church leaders struggle in this area (usually inwardly because if we said out loud that we are dying inside, people might perceive us as weak).

While I am stunned by these stats, I am not surprised.  I’ve seen too many friends flee the frenzy of ministry.  And I myself have peeked over the edge on a few occasions, only to be pulled back onto solid ground  by good friends and gracious church members.  But I concur with Noble: This is not what Jesus wants for those in ministry – whether pastors or church leaders, or volunteers in other areas of the Church.

One reason we know this is not what Jesus wants is because Peter tells us as much:

Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them — not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be…  ~ 1 Peter 5.2

But the interesting thing about this verse is that Peter tells us both that God wants leading the church to be enjoyable and that it is going to be emotionally taxing.   On the one hand, lead and shepherd because the joy set before us makes you want to do it.  On the other hand, by acknowledging that ministry will sometimes seem like a chore, a duty,  a mere responsibility, Peter implies that there will likely be times when something will rob the leader of the delight.

In his post Noble lists 10 Signs you are on the verge of a meltdown or burnout:

  1. You are beginning to despise people and your compassion for them is continually decreasing rather than increasing.
  2. You often think about doing something other than ministry and your biggest desire isn’t to honor God and reach people, but to simply find relief from the pressure that seems to be building daily inside you.
  3. You cannot remember the last time you simply had fun with family and friends, and joy is something you talk about but are not experiencing for yourself.
  4. You are disconnected at home and when you get there, you do not want to engage with your spouse or your children; you cannot enjoy being around them. You spend more time online than you do with your family and you find yourself wanting to sleep all of the time.
  5. You continually tell yourself and those you love that “this is just a really busy season and that you will slow down soon.” However, the truth is that you have been most likely “singing that same song” for years!
  6. You are continually becoming obsessed with what others say about you and one negative comment from someone who does not like you can put you in an incredibly deep valley and cause you to feel hopeless.
  7. You begin to make easy decisions rather than the right ones, because the right ones take too much work.
  8. There is no hope in you and you actually despair of life. You have thought of death and have even entertained suicidal thoughts.
  9. You are experiencing unexplained depression and/or anxiety. You are having panic attacks and can’t explain it.
  10. You are increasingly becoming withdrawn from family and friends.

While I cannot say that I have experienced all of the above symptoms, I am familiar with most. Apparently so is Noble.  He says he drafted this list from his own life. (See: Meltdown)

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5 Reasons Church Leaders Quit

/ Dennis Griffith / 2 Comments

Why do so many church leaders quit or go into early permanent retirement?  This is epidemic these days.  According to Pastor in Residence, a ministry aimed at restoring ministry casualties back to active duty, at any given time as many as 33% of American pastors consider throwing in the towel.  And this is not a problem isolated among the “professionals”.  Some of the same stressors also plague non-staff church leaders.

Perry Noble offers some wise insight aimed at my ministerial colleagues – and me.  These are things we need to be reminded regularly.  I know I do.

#1 – Burnout

I once heard someone say, “I would rather burn out than rust out.”  Uh…BOTH are bad because NEITHER of them finish well.  Too many people in the ministry work themselves into a frenzy, never take time to disconnect and refresh, and do absolutely nothing for fun–this always ends badly!

When it comes to leadership circles in America, we’ve equated being busy with being godly; however, the haunting reality that confronts that idea is what God Himself said in Psalm 46:10, “BE STILL and know that I am God,” not “be busy!”

If we are not taking regular breaks, doing things “just for fun,” and disconnecting, then burnout isn’t a matter of “if,” but “when!”

#2 – Unrealistic Expectations

Too many people believe that “ministry = easy” despite the fact that it seemed to go really badly for everyone in the Scriptures that sold their lives out to Him!  Jesus went to the “place of the skull” to be crucified…why would we ever believe He would lead us to “the place of the mattress?”

When we impose our plans and ideas on God and refuse to surrender to His, it usually leads to people “giving up” because “God just didn’t come through.”

#3 – Criticism

Criticism hurts, it always will, and if it ever doesn’t, then, according to my counselor, something is dead inside of you.  And it is always personal (especially when someone begins with, “Don’t take this personally, but…).

You can’t let the critics dictate what you think/feel!  If you have a ministry that constantly responds to critics, then you will not have one that responds to Jesus.  You MUST respond to the people who God has placed in your life to surround you and protect you–that’s not criticism but rather correction.  However, you cannot allow those who know you the least to control you the most–period!

#4 – Discouragement

Every church leader I’ve ever chatted with has done some serious battles with discouragement.  After your message on Sunday, the enemy comes in and begins to accuse you, telling you that you did a pathetic job and that no one is going to come back next week.  I’ve had to battle discouragement during the message before, hearing voices inside of my head saying things like, “You stink, these people hate you…you need to quit the ministry…” and so on.

This is why it is essential for leaders to get in a place like David did in I Samuel 30:1-6.  David faced an incredibly discouraging situation and yet somehow managed to find His strength in the Lord.  I do this by reading through encouraging letters and e-mails that I’ve received in the past, placing myself in encouraging environments, and focusing on what God’s Word says about me.

#5 – Losing Focus on God’s Power

When we actually believe it is up to us to make people come back to church every week rather than believing we are conduits that God wants to work through to do that very thing…it’s over!  Because we fall into the trap of trying to outdo ourselves every week, every series and every year and prayer/seeking the Lord become some things we love to talk about but fail to do.  He saves…He draws people…and He uses us to do it.  It’s not up to us but rather we need to allow Him to work through us to accomplish all that He wants to do!

Face it; on our own, we don’t have enough power to blow our noses.  We need Him. He is the game changer!

~ Perry Noble is pastor of New Spring Church in Anderson, South Carolina